Part
First, I shall give you the signs of immoderate sorrow, and show you when it exceeds its bounds, and becomes sinful, even a sorrow to be sorrowed for; and for clearness' sake, I will first allow what may be allowed to the Christian mourner, and then you will the better discern wherein the excess and sinfulness of your sorrow lies.
And first, however much we censure and condemn immoderate sorrow, yet the afflicted must be allowed an awakened and tender sense of the Lord's afflicting hand upon them. It is no virtue to bear what we do not feel: indeed it is a most unbecoming temper, not to tremble when God is smiting.
The Lord says to Moses, in the case of Miriam (Numbers 12:24), If her Father had spit in her face, should she not be ashamed seven days? The face is the table and seat of beauty and honor; but when it is spit upon, it is made the sink of shame. Had her own Father spit upon her face when she had displeased him, would she not have gone aside as one ashamed by such a rebuke, and not have shown her face to him again in seven days? How much more should she take it to heart, and be sensible of this rebuke of mine, who have filled her face with leprous spots, the signs of my displeasure against her? Surely God will be ashamed of those, that are not ashamed when he rebukes them.
It is not magnanimity, but stupidity to make light of God's corrections, and for this the afflicted are smartly taxed (Jeremiah 5:3), I have smitten them but they have not grieved. When God struck Job in his person, children, and estate, he arose and tore his mantle, and put dust upon his head, to show he was not senseless and unaffected, and yet blessed the afflicting God, which as plainly showed he was not contumacious and unsubmissive.
Secondly, We must allow the mourning afflicted soul, a due and comely expression of his grief and sorrow, in his complaints both to God and men.
It is much more becoming a Christian ingenuously to open his troubles, than sullenly to smother them. There is no sin in complaining to God, but much wickedness in complaining of him. Griefs are eased by groans, and heart pressures relieved by utterance. This was David's course, and constant way, who was a man of afflictions (Psalm 142:2-3), I poured out my complaint before him, I showed before him my trouble: when my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then you knew my path.
To whom should children go but to their Father to make their moan? From where may they expect relief and comfort but from him? Psalm 102 is entitled, A Psalm for the afflicted, when he is overwhelmed, and pours out his complaint before the Lord.
And happy were it if every afflicted soul would choose this way to express his sorrows. Did we complain more to God, God would complain less of us, and quickly abate the matters of our complaint. O you cannot think how moving, how melting, how prevailing it is with God, when his poor burdened and afflicted people, in a day of distress and despondency, when deep calls to deep, and one wave drives on another, then for the oppressed soul with humility, filial confidence, and faith, to turn itself to the Lord and thus address him,
Father, What shall I do? My soul is greatly bowed down by trouble, I am full to the brim, my vain heart has looked for relief this way and that way but none comes, every door of comfort is shut up against me. You have multiplied my sorrows, and renewed your witnesses against me: comfort is removed from my outward, and peace from my inner man: sharp afflictions without, and bitter reflections within. O Lord I am oppressed, undertake for me. Fathers of the flesh pity their distressed children when they complain to them, and will not you O Lord, whose compassions as far exceed creature-compassions, as the sea exceeds a drop. O my Father pity me, support me, deliver me.
O how acceptable is this to God! How advantageous to the soul!
We may also make our complaint to men. So did Job (Job 19:21), Have pity, have pity on me O you my friends; for the hand of God has touched me. And it is a mercy if we have any friends that are wise, faithful, and experienced. They are born for such a time as this (Proverbs 17:17). But be they what they will, they cannot pity as God, relieve and succor as he. And often times we may say with Job (Job 21:4), As for me, is my complaint to men? and if it were, why should not my spirit be troubled? That is to say, what great advantage can I get by these complaints? I may burden the heart of my friend, but how little does that ease my own! Yet the very opening of the heart to an experienced tender Christian is some relief, and the engaging his prayers is more. Thus far you may safely go: in all this there is no danger.
Thirdly, The afflicted person may, ordinarily, accuse, judge and condemn himself, for being the cause and procurer of his own troubles. He may lawfully be discontented, and vexed with himself for his own folly, when the iniquity of his heels compasses him about. And truly it is but seldom that any great affliction befalls a gracious person, but he saw the need of such a rod before he felt it.
Has God smitten your child or friend? and did you not foresee some sharp trial coming? Did not your fond secure carnal temper need such a scourge, to awaken, quicken and purge you? Or if you did not foresee it, it is now your duty to search and examine yourselves. So the Church in their afflictions resolved (Lamentations 3:40), Let us search and try our ways. When God is smiting we should be searching. Surely our iniquities will inquire after us, if we will not inquire after them. Indeed, in the day of affliction, a gracious soul is inquisitive about nothing more than the procuring and provoking cause of his troubles (Job 10:2), Show me for what you contend with me? That is to say, Lord what special corruption is it that this rod is sent to rebuke? What sinful neglect does it come to humble me for? O discover it now to me, and recover me now from it.
And having found the root and cause of their troubles, ingenuous souls will shame themselves for it, and give glory to God by a humble submission, and vindication of the equity of his proceedings (Job 7:20), I have sinned, what shall I do to you, you preserver of men? He thinks it no shame freely to discover to God, and deeply to abase himself before him, for his folly.
I remember a choice note that Mr. Brightman has in his commentary upon the Canticles.
Holy men, says he, after their hearts are renewed by repentance, are not ashamed to remember and confess their slips and shameful falls, to the glory of God: for they account that glory which such confessions take from them is not lost, while it goes to the glory of God. If his glory may rise out of our shame, how willing should we be to take such shame to us? Holy David was not ashamed to acknowledge (Psalm 38:5), My wounds stink and are corrupt, because of my foolishness. He is the wisest man that thus makes a fool of himself before God.
It is true God may afflict from prerogative, or for trial; but we may always see cause enough in ourselves, and it is safest to charge it upon our own folly.
Lastly, The afflicted Christian may in a humble submissive manner, plead with God and be earnest for the removal of the affliction.
When affliction presses us above strength, when it disables us for duty, or when it gives advantage to temptation, then we may say with David, Remove your stroke from me, I am consumed by the blow of your hand (Psalm 39:10). Even our Lord Jesus Christ, in the day of his troubles, poured out his soul with strong cries and many tears, saying, Father if you be willing, let this cup pass from me (Luke 22:42). Oppressed nature desires ease; and even our renewed nature desires freedom from those clogs and temptations which hinder us in duty, or expose us to snares.
Thus far we may safely go.
