Chapter 21

Of four deceits of the heart in practicing.

Now we are come to the fourth, and last head of the first kind of the self-deceiving of the heart, namely the deceitfulness which is in practicing. And this shows itself in diverse particulars.

1 The deceitfulness of heart in practicing appears in the fickleness and uncertainty thereof; whereby it comes to pass, that we cannot hold on a constant tenor in any good course, without making of many interruptions. Many begin to enter into such, and such good ways of repentance, and reformation, but they soon grow weary, and break off. Nebuchadnezzar, seeing the excellent prophetical spirit of Daniel in interpreting his dream, was so affected, that only Daniel's God must be the true God. And yet this lasted not long. For within a little while after, for all this, his idol must be worshipped under pain of death. And after this the sight of the miracle in the three children's delivery, that the fire, which was fire to burn the bonds wherewith they were tied, was no fire so much as to singe their apparel, how did it further work upon him, and wring from him the acknowledgement of the true God: yet, for all this, not long after we may see him jetting it in his palace, and as proudly, as ever, advancing himself above the Lord. Neither is it thus only with the wicked, but in the godly also themselves, in the true practice of godliness, though not in like manner. Hence it is that they find such unevenness in their lives, that they are so off, and on, so out, and in, now in good frame, but by and by sensibly distempered, and altogether unlike themselves. Sometimes how are we hoisted up to the very skies, in abundance of pure, and heavenly meditations, and consolations, as it were rapt up with Paul into paradise, or ascending in Elijah's fiery chariot into heaven? Other times again cast down into the very depths of hell, not able to pray, hear, meditate with any feeling of comfort. Sometimes in prayer transformed in our soul (so are we ravished) as Christ was in body, when he prayed. Other times again as heavy in prayer, as the sleepy disciples with Christ in the garden; the wings of our faith being clipped, our prayers lie groveling on the ground. Sometimes so comfortable, and courageous, that we can say with David, Though I were in the valley of death, yet would I fear none ill: other times again so deadened, and dejected in our spirits, that we are like him, when he said, One day I shall die by the hand of Saul. Sometimes so strong in faith, that we can overcome the greatest dangers, and with Peter can walk upon the swelling waves: by and by so faint, and brought to so low an ebb that we fall down even in far lesser dangers; as Peter began to sink at the rising of the wind. Sometimes so patient, that we can quietly bear the greatest indignities; presently after so impatient, that we cannot put up the smallest unkindnesses. As David patient in Saul's persecution, impatient in Nabal's discourtesy. To conclude. In the hearing of the word, how do we feel sometimes our hearts to burn, and glow within us? Oh the heavenly affections we then feel kindled! Oh the sweet disposition, and frame our hearts are in then! Little would we think then, that afterward we should be so much cooled, as we are very quickly after our departure from this fire, and coming into the freezing air of the world. In which regard, as Chrysostom says, the ministers have the greater trouble, because they never find their work as they left it, as other workmen do, the smith, the joiner, etc. who as they left their work in the evening, so they find it in the morning: but ministers shall find their work altogether put out of frame, and order, by reason of our deceitful hearts, that steal from us those good affections we had before. If a horse naturally trots and for some space of time has accustomed himself thereto, though by art he be broken, and made to amble, yet in journeying he will be, ever and again, offering to go out of his amble into his trot. So regenerate men, because naturally their hearts are evil, though in part mortified by grace, they have learned to do well, yet, ever and again, they have experience of the readiness of their heart to break out into their old courses. Corruption in them will have some outbursts. Our heart is the instrument we must work with, in the service of God. But a deceitful instrument will not hold out in working. No more will our deceitful heart in the serving of God.

The second point of deceitfulness in this kind is in the slipperiness of our hearts; by which it comes to pass, that they give, both God, and our selves, the slip, while they are in the performance of good exercises. As when in prayer, meditation, and hearing of the word they slyly steal away, and play the fugitives, carried away with idle, and wandering imaginations. This deceitfulness the most holy have miserable experience of; their hearts herein dealing with them, as if our servant employed in some business together with our selves, in the midst of the work should secretly steal away, we not marking, or minding of him. That holy father Augustine felt this, and bewailed it in himself, that in his most serious meditations of heavenly things his mind was easily distracted by the slightest occasions. Concerning which he thus writes, Let every man therefore mark and consider what doings there are within in the heart, how often times our prayers themselves are interrupted with vain thoughts, so that our heart can hardly stand still with God. Though yet it would lay hold on itself and so make itself to stay with him, yet in a sort it flies away as it were from itself, neither can it find any bounds by which it may keep itself from flying away in its wandering motions, that so tarrying still with the Lord it may be refreshed with sweet delights by him. Hardly among many of our prayers do we meet with such a prayer. Every one would be ready to say that this were so only with him, and that others were not troubled in like manner, unless we had heard David in a certain place saying, Therefore your servant has found his heart to pray to you. Lo, he says that he found his heart, as though his heart were wont to fly away from him, and he inclined to run after this fugitive, and being not able to catch it himself, to cry to the Lord, my heart has left me. So far Augustine, excellently setting forth this deceitfulness of our hearts. Would we not count him a deceitful friend, who, when we should have greatest use of him, would then be sure to be out of the way? Alike deceitful must our hearts needs be, the chief instrument with which we are to serve the Lord. And yet when God's service is to be performed by us, our hearts are then to find, they have run away from us, and so, when we should seek God, we must first go seek ourselves.

The third deceit is, when our hearts do privately, and secretly, we scarcely perceiving it, foist in, and closely convey some corruption into our good actions, even then, when we are in the very act of performance. And with this deceit are even the children of God themselves exceedingly troubled. For however they propose not to themselves any of these by, and base respects of praise, and vain glory, etc. in their good actions, but rather do set themselves against them; yet these things do come in by stealth, and slyly insinuate, and wind in themselves into their hearts, as once the serpent into the garden. So fittingly in this regard does the Prophet call our heart deceitful, in that word, in the original, from where Jacob had his name, because our fleshly hearts do the same thing to the spirit, in doing of good, which Jacob did to his brother, coming out of the womb, as it were supplant it, and catch it by the heel, when it is in running of the Christian race; for what else do they, when they intrude, and obtrude upon us their own carnal, and corrupt affections? Look how those Samaritans would have had their finger in the building of the temple with the Jews, namely with a purpose to have destroyed it; and look how Jehu offered sacrifice to Baal, killing his priests at the same time: and look how Hushai went to Absalom's company to overthrow him. A like deal our hearts do with us, needs will they intermeddle in our good actions, but it is but to rob us of them, by transforming them into sin, through the mixture of their corruption. For when there springs up any sweet fountains of grace within us, then do they closely (as once the Philistines dealt with Isaac's wells, which he had dug) cast in their filthy dirt, and dust, and stop them up therewith. They drop down from their impure hands some filth, upon that pure web the spirit weaves, and so make it a monstrous cloth. They cunningly put in their leaven into the spirit's dough, and so sour it, and make it distasteful to the Lord. When sometime the spirit of grace is offering to put forth itself, as once Zarah in Tamar's womb, yet, by reason of this deceitfulness of our hearts, it recoils presently, and goes back, so as Zarah did, and the flesh like Perez, that steps before it; and so as they were deceived, when Zarah's hand was first seen, so we often, when we feel ourselves making some offers toward God. For as knavish con-catchers, watching the times when honest men are to go to some solemnity of feasting, craftily thrust in themselves, that they may filch something away: so where grace is to employ herself, corruption will be sure to have an oar in this boat, and to interest itself in the good action, that it may by this means steal away the best part of our comfort therein: As in the love of grace and virtue in good women, it comes sometimes to pass, that the impure, and filthy love of lust, and concupiscence, by certain juggling feats of conveyance, cogs in itself. Therefore Saint Paul writing to Timothy, a man rarely mortified, bids him yet to exhort younger women with purity, or chastly (1 Timothy 5:2); because, through the deceitfulness of his heart, even then, while he was exhorting them to chastity, some unchaste motions might come creeping into his own heart, and steal upon him unawares. And so in preaching, while the minister is stirring up others, to the zeal of God's glory, through this deceitfulness of heart, it comes to pass, too often, that thoughts of pride, and vain glory pop in themselves, to defile, and deface the glory of the work. In which regard Augustine says (Psalm 50), that it is harder to preach holily, than to hear, writing upon that of David, 'You shall make me to hear the voice of joy, and gladness,' which he reads something otherwise, thus: 'You shall give joy to my hearing.' Whereupon he thus writes: The hearers of the word are more happy than the speakers. The learning hearer may be humble. But the speaker, he must strive against pride, and the desire of pleasing men, that they closely creep not in upon him, and cause him to displease God, etc. The like deceit are we subject to in prayer also. Witness Jonah's example (Jonah 4:2), of whom it is said, that he then prayed, when indeed he did nothing but quarrel with God. Read the words of that his prayer, and you shall find nothing prayer-like in them. They seem rather to be a brawl, than a prayer. How then is he said to pray? No doubt feeling his weakness in giving place to anger, he thought to strive against it, and in this good mind addressed himself to prayer: but yet, lo the deceitfulness of his heart, while by prayer he thought to have overcome his anger, anger overcame him and his prayer too, turning it into a jangling, and wrangling expostulation with the Lord. Thus sometimes men setting themselves to meditate against some sin, in the very act of meditation have been ensnared therein. For as in speaking against some sins, it falls out that others sometime are taught to practice them, (which was Solon's reason of making no laws against the killing of our parents, lest by forbidding it he should teach it) so also in thinking against some sins, ourselves may be caught. And when men in their thoughts have been framing their minds to reconciliation with their adversaries, in the remembrance of the injury received they have been further incensed, than before. Peter did well to ask the question (Luke 22), 'Master, shall we draw the sword.' He did not ask this question as the princes in Jeremiah (Jeremiah 42), whether they should go down into Egypt, being before resolved to go down, whatever the Prophet should answer. No, we are not to think that Peter had made a resolute answer to his question before he made it, being fully purposed to draw, before he asked the question. No, he did not so foully dissemble. But in asking the question he seemed to be framing his mind to more moderation, and willing to be advised, and directed by Christ, but yet withal exasperated with the insolency of the adversary, and indignity of the fact, he could not hold his mind in that temper of moderation, to stay the answer of the question, but even in asking drew, the deceitfulness of his heart preventing Christ's answer. So again oftentimes in many of our actions, where we think we do intend a good end, and do indeed in some sort intend it, there yet withal, underhand, gets into our minds the consideration of some other sinister, and crooked respect. As Moses pretended to the Lord, that the conscience of his own weakness, and insufficiency made him so fearful of undertaking the office he imposed upon him, lest by this means God's glory should be foiled in him. Neither did he altogether dissemble therein. But withal there secretly lurked another matter beside the fear of himself, namely the fear of Pharaoh, lest he would have revenged the Egyptians' quarrel upon him. And therefore God seeing that, said to him, 'Arise Moses, go your ways, they are dead that seek your life.' So when we desire that our children, or others under our charge, should thrive in godliness, this is a good desire; but how often do the eyes of our minds look askew at God's glory herein; and (whatever our own pretenses and conceits may be) like Demetrius pretending Diana's glory against Paul's doctrine (Acts 19:27), when yet it was his own gain he more specially intended, how often are we carried away with a respect of ourselves, that we might reap some credit, in the good success of our labors? And therefore excellently the Apostle, purging himself of this corruption, writes thus to the Corinthians (2 Corinthians 13:7): 'Now I pray to God that you do no evil.' The Corinthians might object: 'You thus pray not so much for our good, as for the credit of your own ministry.' The Apostle therefore by way of prevention adds, not that we should seem approved, having our labors thus blessed: but that you should do that which is honest, though we be as reprobates; in an honest desire of your own good do we desire it, without any respect of ourselves. Again, when the children of God are humbled and cast down in godly sorrow for their smaller sins, often upon this occasion, the heart begins to conceive thoughts of pride, 'O there are few that take notice of such small sins, or are so touched for them, as I.' And so the thief pride, steals away our humility, as it does also all our other graces, it being almost all one to be simply proud as to be proud because of our humility, to be unclean, as to be proud because of our chastity, etc.

The fourth deceit of the heart in practicing is, when it causes us to leap from one extreme to another, passing by the mean; as from prodigality, to covetousness, from covetousness to prodigality, skipping over liberality. In the former leap the covetous man has a fair pretense, O why should I wastefully misspend God's creatures? Why should I make my belly my God? But why do you not rightly use God's creatures? Why do you make your money your God? The prodigal, lately covetous, his color is as good, why should I make myself a drudge to my goods? Indeed, and why should you make yourself a drudge to your pleasures. In the same kind of deceit are some brought from presumption to desperation, from thinking their sins are nothing, and that they can repent when they like for them, to think that they are greater than that ever they can repent, or find mercy at God's hands. By the like deceit are men come from too much honoring of ministers, which was in Popery, to too much contemning of them. As it was in the Church of Corinth, some would give too much to the ministers, servilely apprenticing their judgments to them, I am Paul's, I am Apollos's. Another sort, to avoid this extremity on the right hand, went as far out on the left, in the utter rejecting of the ministry, I am Christ's, I care not for any minister, but will be taught immediately by Christ himself. And therefore Paul after he had refuted those offending in the excess, lest any through this deceitfulness should decline too much to the defect, he wisely qualifies the matter, Let a man yet think of us as of the ministers of Christ, and disposers of the secrets of God (1 Corinthians 4:1). Let no man think that there is no way to avoid too much dignifying the ministers, than too much nullifying of them. This is like the husbandman's error, when in correcting the crookedness of a twig, he writhes it too much the other way. A deceit, that befell the Fathers, who in their zealous detestation of heresies, have in their disputations overshot themselves, sometimes, and gone too far on the other side. As Clement was so far carried against worship of images, that he condemned the art of painting. An example of deceit in this kind we have in Peter, who for not suffering Christ to wash his feet, hearing that fearful answer, Unless I wash you, you have no part in me, lashed out presently as far the other way, Lord not feet only, but hands, and head and all. But it was his feet only that Christ would wash, not his hands, or head. So the Corinthians, being reprehended for their remissness, and careless oversight, in not punishing the incestuous person, fell to over-rigorous severity, in not freeing him from punishment, in not releasing him upon his repentance. So Saint Augustine confesses of himself that, in his desire to avoid carnal delight in singing, he fell into that extremity of severity, as to condemn all delightful melody, tickling the ear. The error in the primitive Church was, to magnify the Apostles' writings in contempt of their vocal doctrine. The letters, said the false Apostles concerning Paul, are severe and strong: but his bodily presence, and his speech is of no value (2 Corinthians 10:10). The Papists at this day have avoided this error, by falling into the contrary, of advancing the doctrine, which the Apostles, say they, delivered by word of mouth, their unwritten verities, to the shameful disparagement of their written doctrine. And to conclude, how many of us, through this deceit, have been brought from Popish superstition, to profane and irreligious atheism? From the blind zeal without knowledge, to a cold and heartless knowledge without zeal, from works without faith, to faith without works, from shaking off the yoke of that Roman tyranny, to shake off the sweet and easy yoke of Christ too, and so to an over licentious, and lawless dissoluteness. From the leaving of Popish fasting, penance, confession, to the contempt of true Christian fasting, repentance, confession, and from the error of the merit of good works, to a shameful neglect of them. So that we did more good works (I mean outwardly in regard of the matter) in Popery, for our own glory, than now we do for God's glory, though God's glory should be a far more powerful attractive to good works than our own. And these be the four first deceits in this kind.