To the Right Honourable and Christian Lady, My Lady Boyd — Letter 15

Madam.

Grace, mercy, and peace be to you, from God our father, and from our Lord Jesus Christ. I cannot but thank your ladyship for your letter that has refreshed my soul. I think myself many ways obliged to your ladyship for your love to my afflicted brother, now embarked with me in that same cause. His Lord has been pleased to put him upon truth's side. I hope your ladyship will befriend him with your counsel and countenance in that country where he is a stranger. And your ladyship need not fear but your kindness to his own shall be put up in Christ's accounts. Now Madam, for your ladyship's case, I rejoice exceedingly that the Father of lights has made you see that there is a secret in Christianity which you strive to be at, and that is to quit the right eye and the right hand and to keep the Son of God. I hope your desire is to make him your garland, and your eye looks up the mount, which certainly is nothing but the new creature. Fear not — Christ will not cast water upon your smoking coal, and then who else dare do it, if he say no? Be sorry at corruption and not secure. That companion lay with you in your mother's womb and was as early friends with you as the breath of life, and Christ will not have it otherwise, for he delights to take up fallen children and to mend broken brows. Binding up of wounds is his office (Isaiah 61). First, I am glad Christ will get employment of his calling in you. Many a whole soul is in heaven that was sicker than you are. He is content that you lay broken arms and legs on his knee, that he may splint them. Second, hiding of his face is wise love. His love is not fond, doting, and reasonless — to give your head no other pillow, while you be in at heaven's gates, but to lie between his breasts and lean upon his bosom. In fact, his children must often have the frosty cold side of the hill and set down both their bare feet among thorns. His love has eyes and in the meantime is looking on. Our pride must have winter weather to rot it. But I know Christ and you shall not be heard; you will whisper it over between yourselves and agree again. For the anchor cable abides fast within the veil; the end of it is in Christ's ten fingers. Who dare pull if he holds? 'I the Lord your God will hold your right hand, saying, fear not, I will help you' (Isaiah 41:13). Fear not, Jacob. The seasick passenger shall come to land; Christ will be the first that will meet you on the shore. I hope your ladyship will keep the king's highway. Go on in the strength of the Lord in haste, as if you had not leisure to speak to the innkeepers by the way. He is over beyond time on the other side of the water who thinks long for you. For my unfaithful self, Madam, I must say a word. At my first coming here, the devil made many black lies of my Lord Jesus, and said the court was changed, and he was angry and would give an evil servant his leave at mid-term. But he gave me grace not to take my leave; I resolved to abide summons and sit, however it was suggested and said, what should be done with a withered tree but over the wall with it? But now, now — I dare not, I cannot keep it up — who is feasted as his poor exiled prisoner? I am ashamed of the head of the table, and the first serving, and the royal king's dining hall, and that my black hand should come on such a ruler's table. But I cannot mend it; Christ must have his will. Only he pains my soul so sometimes with his love, that I have been near to pass modesty and to cry out — he has left a smoking burning coal in my heart and gone to the door himself, and left me and it together. Yet it is not desertion; I know not what it is, but I was never so sick for him as now. I durst not challenge my Lord if I got no more; for heaven, it is a doting cross. I know he has other things to do than to play with me and toss an apple with me, and that this feast will end. O for instruments in God's name, that this is he, and that I may make use of it when it will be a near friend within me and when it will be said by a challenging devil, 'where is my God?' Since I know it will not last, I desire but to keep broken meat. But let no man after me slander Christ for his cross. The great Lord of the covenant, who brought from the dead the great shepherd of his sheep by the blood of the eternal covenant, establish you and keep you and yours to his appearance.

Aberdeen, March 7, 1637. Yours in his sweet Lord Jesus, S. R.