To His Reverend and Dear Brother Mr. David Dickson — Letter 92
Reverend and dearest brother.
What joy have I outside of heaven's gates but that my Lord Jesus be glorified in my bonds? Blessed be you of the Lord who contribute anything to my obliged and indebted praises. Dear brother, help me — a poor bankrupt — to pay the interest, for I cannot come near to render the principal. It is not jest nor sport which makes me speak and write as I do. I never before came to that notch or pitch of a communion with Christ that I have now attained, for my confirmation. I have been these two or three Sabbaths in private, taking instruments in the name of God, that my Lord Jesus and I have kissed each other in Aberdeen, the house of my pilgrimage. I seek not an apple to play with — he knows whom I serve in the spirit — but a seal; I but beg earnest and am content to suspend and defer glory until supper time. I know this world will not last with me, for my moonlight is now noon-day light, and my four o'clock conversations with Christ are better than my feasts when I was a preacher. At which times also I was embraced very often in his arms. But who can blame Christ to take me on behind him — if I may say so — on his white horse, or in his chariot paved with love, through a water? Will not a father take his little tired child in his arms and carry him over a ditch or a mire? My short legs could not step over this mire and sinking bog, and therefore my Lord Jesus will bear me through. If a change comes and a dark day, so being that he will keep my faith without flaw or crack, I dare not blame him, though I get no more until I come to heaven. But you know the medicine must have sugar; my faith had fallen in a swoon, and Christ but held up a fainting man's head. Indeed I pray not for a pampered child's diet; he knows I would have Christ sour or sweet, any way, so being it is Christ indeed. I stand not now upon peeled apples or sugared dishes. But I cannot blame him for giving, and I must gape and make a wide mouth, since Christ will not store up joys; he must be welcome who will not stay away. I seek no other fruit but that he may be glorified; he knows I would take hard fare to have his name set on high. I bless you for your counsel; I hope to live by faith and swim without a bundle of joyful sense under my chin, at least to venture though I should be ducked. Now for my case, I think the council should be tried and the event referred to God. Duties are ours and events are God's. I shall go through yours upon the Covenant at leisure and write to you my mind concerning it, and concerning the Arminian contract between the Father and the Son. I beseech you set to and go through scripture; yours on the Hebrews is in great request with all who would be acquainted with Christ's testament. I purpose — God willing — to set about Hosea and to try if I can get it to the press here. It refreshes me much that you are so kind to my brother; I hope your counsel shall do him good. I commend him to you, since I am so far from him. I am glad that the dying servant of God, the famous and faithful Mr. Cunningham, sealed your ministry before he fell asleep. Grace, grace be with you.
Aberdeen, March 7, 1637. Yours in his sweet Lord Jesus, S. R.
