Sermon 42: Upon Ephesians Chapter 5

31 For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and be joined to his wife, and they shall be two in one flesh. 32 This is a great secret. Indeed, say I, in Christ and in the Church. 33 Therefore, do so, as every man may love his wife as himself, and let the wife fear her husband.

God does so dispose his works, as we have occasion to behold a wonderful wisdom in all his doings, and to receive such instruction by them, as may be to our benefit: as (for example) in that which Saint Paul alleges here, namely that the woman was drawn and taken out of the substance of the man. For God could well have created Eve after the same manner that he created Adam. But he [illegible], and commands woman to be shaped thereof. And to what end does this tend, but that there should be such a union between man and wife, as he might think, this is my flesh, this is my bone: and she, from where has God given me life? From where has he shaped me? Even of a rib that he took out of man. We see then that God did not without cause use such diversity in creating man and woman. It was to the end it should be continually minded in wedlock, so as the husband might know that he breaks the whole order of nature, if he is not united in good agreement to his wife: and the wife likewise, if she does not submit herself quietly to her husband, acknowledging him to be her head. But Saint Paul applies this further, to the union which is between our Lord Jesus Christ and his Church. For (as was declared upon Sunday) wedlock is as a figure of the knitting together which is between us and the Son of God. And therefore he cries out, saying, It is a high mystery, that is to say, a secret which we ought to take very good heed of, Indeed (says he) in Jesus Christ and in his Church. There are then two things to be noted here.

The one is, that we see how God even from the beginning, has knit man and wife together in an inseparable bond. The other is, that he intends to lead us yet higher: that is to say, that forasmuch as there is nothing in ourselves but all manner of wretchedness, we should be knit to the Son of God, who is the fountain of all goodness, and from there draw our spiritual life, and have all our strength and power of him. And forasmuch as Saint Paul having alleged the said text out of Moses, adds, that this mystery is great, in that the Son of God has made us bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh: some have imagined it to be as a prophecy of that which has been said. But there is no reason nor color of reason, why they should think so, and it is evident that the text should be marred, if it is not taken simply as it lies: that is to say, that God intended to warn man and wife what their duty and charge is. Let that then serve for one point.

The Papists have foully overshot themselves in this case, and betrayed such ignorance, as little children might well spit in their faces for it. Because the word Sacrament was an ordinary word (in old time) to betoken secrets, mysteries, and all manner of high things that are worthy to be had in admiration of us: therefore the said word Sacrament was [illegible] in here ([illegible]). It is a great Sacrament, says Saint Paul, that is to say, a great mystery or secret. And hereof there is no doubt, no more than when he says, it is a great Sacrament, that God was manifested in the flesh (1 Timothy 3:16): It is a great Sacrament that the Gospel was published through the whole world, and that the wretched Gentiles and unbelievers were matched with the offspring of Abraham (Romans 16:25). So in this text, the infinite goodness of our God is a Sacrament, that is to say, a high thing, and well worthy to be looked at by us (Ephesians 3:3, 9; Colossians 1:26). Hereupon some folks have been so very beasts as to say, Then is Wedlock or Matrimony a Sacrament, as well as Baptism, or as the Lord's Supper. And because they understood not the word: to their seeming there was something to be found here, like as in Baptism, the water betokens that we are washed by the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ: and in the Supper, the bread and wine are warrants and pledges of his body and of his blood. They were of opinion, that as much is done in marriage. Now when we see that such doltishness has crept in through the whole world, and that these great doctors had need to be set again to their ABCs, forasmuch as they knew not even the things that they ought to have judged by their natural reason: therein we see that there lies a great vengeance of God upon such as have corrupted the true religion, and made minglemangles in the word of God, after their own fancies. And therewith we have to thank our God so much the more, for that he has drawn us out of such dungeons. And seeing there was so horrible confusion in such as are reported themselves to be the lamps and pillars of the Church, and were taken so to be: since we see that God did dull them so utterly: we ought not to be afraid to separate ourselves from their company and synagogue. And seeing he has granted us the grace to be no more mingled with them: let us keep on our course, and walk forth soberly. For there we have a warning to hold ourselves in awe, that we being God's true scholars, we may distrust ourselves, and not go seek five feet in one sheep (as they say), but handle the holy Scriptures with such reverence, as God may guide us to the true understanding of it by his Holy Spirit.

But now let us come to Saint Paul's intent. It is certain that he alleges the record of Moses, to show that the [illegible] bear with his wife, as with a portion of his own body, and the one half of his own person: [illegible] them. The cause then why Eve was shaped of one of Adam's ribs, is that God meant to establish such a concord between man and wife by that means, as there should be no bond in the world so strict as that. For the child ought indeed to honor his father: for he is his seed, and he is his blood: but yet is the bond of wedlock preferred before it. And by whom? It comes not of men's liking: but according as Adam had spoken, and as God had pronounced the sentence, so is it an inviolable order, that man should be knit to his wife, yes and that in such a way, that if he should need to forsake the one or the other, his father should not be so near him as his wife.

Yet is not this as much to say, as that God meant to break that yoke, and to give children leave to be stubborn against their fathers and mothers, when they are once married. God changes not any part of the things that he has ordained. Therefore he that has a father or mother alive, ought to be still subject to them, without ceasing from doing his duty, according as the Scripture shows, and as nature also teaches every man to do. For we have it engraved in us, and we cannot wipe it out. Thus you see that married folks cease not to be always subject to their fathers and mothers. But here the case stands upon the comparing of the one with the other: as if he should say, If a young man should forsake his father, and have him in any contempt or disdain, or be stubborn against him, or yield him no reverence — would not the world say he were a monster? Now if God has commanded in his law, that stubborn and disobedient children should be stoned, and that men should root such villainy out of the world: what a thing is it, when a man shall forsake his wife, or the wife her husband? Surely it is an outrageous crime. Then if it be intolerable that the child should rise up against his father: (no doubt) the bond of wedlock is yet much holier, and more expressly commended to us of God. Seeing it is so: it is incumbent on every man to look that he discharge his duty. For if a woman has a contrary head of her own, so as she must be brawling every minute of an hour, and will not be subject to her husband: also if the husband be churlish and cruel, so as he disdains his wife: it is not a doing of wrong to a human creature, but to God, who is the author of marriage, and has ordained it with such condition, as we hear of here. And so you see what we have to remember upon the first part of this text.

But this extends yet further: that is to say, that every man should love those that are allied to him by means of God. As for example, a man having no more but his wife, is bound nonetheless to acknowledge that God has united us all together. And when he created Eve the mother of all men out of Adam's side: it was to the end that the same should extend everywhere, and that we should know that he will have us to live in such concord, as none of us should for all that separate ourselves from others. No man then ought to be so cruel as to say, Tush, she is not my wife. But we must consider, that forasmuch as it is our Lord's will that there should be a general concord among all men, and that every man should think himself bound to his neighbors: it is as though mankind were compounded of two sorts, so as there were both males and females. Then are we all bound one to another. True it is that matrimony (as I said) is reserved by itself: but yet for all that, men are bound towards women, to help them, seeing that our Lord has shown it by deed even in the first creation. And women also must behave themselves soberly among men, although they are not their husbands.

Also there is further, that they shall be two in one flesh. Hereby our Lord Jesus Christ shows us, that the man who is married ought to hold himself contented with his own wife, and the woman likewise rest wholly upon her husband, so as they let not their lusts range abroad, nor give themselves the bridle to change anything in the order which our Lord has set, and will have to stand in force to the world's end. Men have so passed their bounds in all ages, that they have forgotten both kind and all kindness. And they have not only despised God and his word, but also forgotten with what condition they were created in the world: and they knew not even that which natural reason could have shown them. And they had not come to that point, if they had not been doted in their lusts like wild beasts. And surely there is no such rage as the reigning of inordinate lusts in our flesh, when they are not repressed by the fear of God. Therefore it came that in many countries it was lawful for men to have three or four wives apiece, as it is permitted still at this day among the Turks. The Jews also, notwithstanding that they had the Law of Moses, did put away their wives for every small occasion that came in their heads. If a woman were not fair enough, or if she were not rich enough, by and by she was divorced. True it is that our Lord had provided for it, howbeit but half. And indeed our Lord Jesus Christ declares, that God had a regard of the hard-heartedness of that people, which was past amendment or taming. Therefore when any of them wished to put away his wife, he was bound to give her a testimonial, that she was no harlot, but that she pleased him not: and he chose rather to sustain that shame, than to keep the faith of marriage. For in putting away his wife after he had plighted her his faith to live and die with her, he showed himself forsworn and unfaithful. Therefore it was a reproach to them to put away their wives after that sort. But yet for all that, divorces were common. And our Lord Jesus says, that in so doing the Jews were backsliders from the law of God, and therefore he tells them, it was not so from the beginning. They took that liberty on that it was said, that he who found not himself well at ease with his wife, should give her leave to depart. But our Lord Jesus tells them, It is true that God granted it to your fathers: howbeit that was because he was forced to deal with them as with wild beasts. So then, he granted them more than was lawful: but yet know you, that although he punished them not with rigor, yet it is not meant that you should therefore take occasion at it to do yet worse. Therefore have you an eye always to the beginning, when God created Adam, and shaped Eve out of his side: he said (at that time) that two should be one flesh. He then that takes two wives, is worthy to be cut asunder, and he that takes three, is worthy to be cut in three pieces: for it is all one as if he would defy God and nature, seeing God has printed a mark in the person of man and wife, to the intent that wedlock should be kept as it ought to be. Therefore if a man disannul the ordinance of God, does he not deserve to be wiped out quite and clean? The thing then which we have yet still to bear in mind, is, that a man must bridle all his senses, and not cast his eyes wandering here and there, lest his mind be carried away when he sees a woman that seems fairer to him than his own. And let the wife also not look upon any man but her husband, otherwise than with simplicity. And let them always think, we are but two, yes and yet one flesh: I cannot be a whole person, except I be with my husband. And let the husband also on his side think, I am but half a creature, when I am asunder from my wife, seeing that God [illegible] you see what we have to remember upon this saying, that [illegible] shall be one flesh.

Now thereupon Saint Paul concludes, Therefore let the husband love his wife, and let the wife honor or fear her husband. For the word that he uses, signifies to fear: but it is taken here for the reverence and subjection which the wife owes to her husband. And here we have to mark the difference that is put between the duty of the husband, and the duty of the wife. God commands not the husband to fear his wife, but he commands him to love her. There is yet more in the woman: that is to say, she must be subject. If a man demand, How then? Does the husband owe no honor to his wife? It is not possible to love rightly and with a pure heart, where there is no reverence: for a man will never love him whom he despises. The world does indeed call it love, but (to speak properly) if I love a wanton person or a jester, because he makes me some sport or pleases me, that is no true love: but there must be a linking together, and an agreement in good manners, so as a man have always good estimation and opinion of him whom he loves. In like case is it between a man and his wife. For when I think with myself, She is a portion of myself, she is the one half of my person: is it possible that I should despise her? The man then must honor his wife, howbeit not by subjection that he should not always abide in his state as head, and have the governing of his wife. That is the cause why Saint Paul requires nothing at the husband's hand, but that he should love his wife. In another text to the Colossians he adds, that they should not be bitter to them. For if there be love, surely he that loves, will bear with many faults and infirmities of his friend. And if we do it one to another: much more ought the husband to do it towards her whom he knows to be given him of God, that he should love her as his own body: And therefore Saint Peter says expressly, that men must have discretion and wisdom to help their wives' infirmities, by bearing with their frailty. If a man take a toy in his head, that his wife is inconstant and light: or to be short, if he despise her under pretense that she is not a man: it is an ill regarding of her. For though she be frail, he must consider that there is the like in himself, and thereupon bear with her, as he would be borne withal himself. Thus you see how this is to be defined that Saint Paul speaks of here. He means not that a man should be doted in fond love, as it falls out oftentimes. And the last Sunday I alleged the examples of such as pretend to be very hot in maintenance of their wives' quarrels (abroad,) and yet are devils to them at home. So then, the love that Saint Paul speaks of, is a right and good affection which the man bears to his wife, because he knows that God has knit them together, as though he had put them together with his own hand, and said, live you two together in peace and concord.

Again, as touching the wives, because they are loath to bear the yoke that God has laid upon their shoulders: therefore in the other text Saint Paul did put them in mind, that God is the author of wedlock, and that it is he which has set down this condition, that the wife should be subject to her husband, and suffer herself to be ruled by him as by her head, and bear him reverence. For a woman will always find matter enough in her husband to despise him. If he have any goodness, she will go about to deface it, that she may have occasion to say, why should this man have pre-eminence over me? For he is no more able to rule than I. And we know what overweening there is in men and women. For every one thinks himself more able than his fellow. The wives therefore would fain govern and have the mastery. For that cause does Saint Paul tell them, that they must abide in the state that God has put them in, (that is to say, in subjection,) and that they must not stand scanning what is in their husbands, to examine whether they are worthy to have authority and superiority or no: but that they must consider what God has ordained, and obey the same without gainsaying or replying. They must not inquire, why is this, and why is that? — to the intent to find some excuse to exempt themselves from the obeying of God and of his commandments. Therefore we must give ear to him, and every one of us must without gainsaying receive the things that he commands us. Thus you see how the things are to be understood, which are spoken here concerning the fear and subjection that wives owe to their husbands. This doctrine is clear and familiar enough of itself: but yet for all that, how is it practiced in the world? Folks would fain allege excuse of ignorance, to shift off the performance of their duty, by saying, this is too high and too hard to be understood, when as it is said, that men ought to love their wives — does there need any gloss to expound what the Holy Ghost meant? No: the thing is evident enough of itself, and every man knows in himself that he understands it well enough. But if you look upon the love that men bear to their wives, scarcely shall you find one among a hundred, which could not find in his heart to give it over, and which has not some wandering fancies in his head. The women also are so fickle, that they could find in their hearts to be unmarried twenty times in a year. And from where does that come? — even from that they have not an eye to God, who is the author of marriage? Truly though we had no scripture at all (as I said:) yet would the most brutish man in the world reverence marriage. And why is that, but because it was our Lord's will to leave that record engraved in men's hearts? His meaning then is to show, that since the most ignorant and grossest sort understand that man and wife should join in good love every one in their degree: men must bend that way. But now, we have teaching, and we have exhortations added to spur us the further forward, to the intent we should not flatter ourselves in our vices: and yet what are we the better? It is to be seen daily, that men storm at their wives, and wives check at their husbands: it is an ordinary matter in every house, and ever among there fly and fling out cursings and bannings: to be short, there is nothing but frowardness and [reconstructed: disdain]. Now where these things are, it is impossible that the man and wife should have any access to come to God. For after what manner ought our repairing to God be, that we might receive mercy, and be under his protection, and he have a care of us? It is by prayer.

Now Saint Peter says expressly, that when a man is oversharp and rigorous to his wife, and the wife also on her side is stubborn, so as he is not able to wield her by any means, nor she willing to submit herself as she ought to do: then are their prayers broken off. As if he should say, wretched folk — on what do you think? Are you not very miserable, seeing the gate is shut against you that you cannot call upon God? Now then what will become of us, when we cannot betake ourselves into the hand of our God? It were better for us to be drowned a hundred thousand times. Seeing then that God loves the quietness both of the men and of the women, in commanding us to live in peace and concord, and moreover bids them come to him, saying: when the husband governs his wife quietly, and the wife on her side does her duty too: then if you call upon me, I will hear you as it were out of [reconstructed: my] mouth: seeing (say I) that our Lord calls us to him for our own benefit and welfare, when he commands us to call upon him with a pure heart: must it not needs be that we are possessed of the devil, and have forgone all our wits, if we accept not so good and profitable a condition? Therefore let us mark well, that if the husband intend to discharge his duty, and the wife likewise: both of them must have an eye to God, and hold their marriage of him, assuring themselves that they met not by chance, but that the Lord coupled them together, to the end that the husband should be as a companion to his wife, and receive her as a part of himself: and the wife yield the degree of honor to her husband, as belongs to him in respect of God, and submit herself to him as to her head. Thus the best way to hearken to God, and to obey him in this case, is to take him for the author of wedlock, to be ruled by him in all things. And let not the husband trouble himself too much in looking upon the faults of his wife, to say, what shall I do with this carrion? For we know that reproaches are loathsome and heinous. Also let not the wife look at the things that are in her husband, to say, he is a very devil, and cannot be won by any means: but let her hold to the condition that she is bound to, and let her not ask why, nor for what reason God has put her so in subjection, neither let her make herself glorious in setting up her [reconstructed: bristles] against God, for putting her so in subjection to her husband.

But now let us come to the second point, and speak yet more of the high mystery, which Saint Paul magnifies so much here. It is (says he) a great mystery, yes between Christ and his Church. By these words it is easy to discern, that Saint Paul meant not to call marriage or wedlock a Sacrament: for he expounds himself [illegible] afterward. And (as I told you) the only thing that is treated here, is the expressing of God's inestimable goodness, insomuch that in stead of executing the office of a teacher, to show and declare how we be knit to our Lord Jesus Christ, Saint Paul himself [illegible] is astonished, and as a man ravished into wonderment, confessing that he wants fit and sufficient words to express well God's grace, in vouchsafing to knit and unite us to his only son. I have told you [illegible] already, how we [illegible] of our Lord Jesus Christ's [illegible], and how we be his flesh. It is not that we be taken out of his body, for we come of the lineage of Adam: but because we live of his own substance, according to this saying, that his flesh is our meat, and his blood our drink, whereby he means that we live in him, but spiritually. Indeed we have a common life both to talk and to walk with all men, which proceeds not of the special grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. But yet the moving which we have common with the brute beasts proceeds also of him, according as it is said, that he was the life of all things. Yes and Saint John passes yet further, saying, that the word, (that is to say, our Lord Jesus Christ,) was to quicken men, in that God has given them this special privilege of having some understanding and discretion. But when the spiritual life which we have with the son of God is spoken of: that is a thing above nature. For although we have not any worthiness or excellence when we come out of our mother's womb: yet there remains always some print and image of God. And yet for all that we be so cursed in our own nature, and so miserable, that we be called even deceased and dead. And that is the cause why our Lord Jesus Christ says, that the hour is come, that the dead which are as rotten carcasses in the grave, shall hear the voice of the son of God. And Saint Paul has said in the second Chapter, that when we be reformed by our Lord Jesus Christ, then we live, whereas before we were dead in our sins and transgressions, because we receive that from our father Adam as it were by inheritance. The manner therefore that we be of Jesus Christ's flesh, and bone of his bone, is that we be grafted into his body, accordingly as Saint Paul also uses the same similitude of grafting. Like as a scion that is set into a stock, takes his sustenance from the same: so must we by being grafted into our Lord Jesus Christ. True it is, that we do not yet bring forth good fruit of ourselves: for his purpose here is but to show that as a branch withers which is broken off from the root and so let alone, but receives sap and nourishment from the root, if it be grafted into another: even so is it with us, that is to wit, that if we continue such as we be by kind, then are we in death, because we be separated from our Lord Jesus Christ? But if we be incorporated into him, and it please him to communicate himself to us, then do we feel in very deed, that bread does not more nourish us when we eat it, nor wine strengthen us better when we drink it, than we truly receive life and strength by the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Now then, that this is a high mystery, every man is able to judge of himself. When we have debated never so much, and scanned the matter in our hearts, is there any of us that can comprehend how we are knit to our Lord Jesus Christ, and how we are made all one with him, so as we can assure and warrant ourselves, that we shall by that means be partakers of God's glory, and that even at this day we live in our Lord Jesus Christ: according to this saying of his, be of good cheer, for as I live, so shall you also (John 14:19). Can this (say I) enter into so small a room as our sensual reason is? No surely. And that is the cause why a number of men cannot admit this point, that we are the flesh of Jesus Christ, and bone of his bones, but content themselves with their own imaginations, which is an abasing of God's grace, which Saint Paul was not able to express, but rather showed us that it ought to ravish our wits to wonder at it. Many then may happen to have a roving, and as it were a heathenish imagination, that we are knit to our Lord Jesus Christ, that is to say, that we are saved by his grace. But the Scripture goes further: and though there were no more but this saying, that it is a great mystery: yet let us beware of limiting it after our own fancy, for it were all one as if we would make Saint Paul a liar. All such as despise this spiritual conjunction which we have with our Lord Jesus Christ, would show that there is no such secret nor wonderful power of God, nor anything else, as we hear spoken of here. And the holy Ghost uses such speech, to humble us, and afterward to exalt us again. Therefore we must on the one side confess that all the wisdom and wit which we have, does fail us in that behalf: and afterward rise up again, for that we hear our Lord Jesus Christ call us to him, and tell us that we are so knit to him, that he has not anything of his own, which he does not make common to us, and of which he will not have us to be partakers. Therefore if we have any contrary motions in ourselves, and it comes into our heads to say, how is it possible that our Lord Jesus Christ who is in heaven, should nourish us with his own substance, so as his body should be our meat, and his blood our drink? I say, if we fall into such fancies: we must repulse them all with that which is said here, namely that it is a great secret, and we must rebuke our own folly and rashness, in intending to measure the thing that is infinite. Our Lord shows us, that when he has knit us to his only son, he has done so high and profound a work, as surpasses all our capacity. Seeing it is so, let us always conclude, that although we find it a strange matter: yet must we rest upon the thing which is spoken by God himself, specially when he says, that he will work after so high a fashion, that we shall be utterly ravished at it.

Therefore let us learn generally upon this text, that all the benefits which we receive by the means of our Lord Jesus Christ, thereby to attain to the heavenly life, are and do proceed from the said fountain of God's incomprehensible wisdom, so as it is not for us to be so foolish and presumptuous as to say, I will know what it is, and again, I will see what pleases me. Let us restrain ourselves from such presumption, for it will make us unworthy of the mystery of faith, because it is a saying that imports a great secret. The end (say I) where we must begin, if we mind to fare the better by Jesus Christ, and to be partakers of all his grace: is to understand, that God's working in our salvation is a great mystery or secret, according to the text that I alleged heretofore out of the Epistle to Timothy. It is a great mystery (says Saint Paul) that God was manifested in the flesh (1 Timothy 3:16). For what a great distance is there between God and man? We are but worms and rottenness, and God's majesty is so high, as no man can say what it is, nor conceive the hundredth part of it in thought, but we must be content to be ravished to wonder at it. Seeing then that God has so linked himself to us, that he is the true Emmanuel (as he is named in Isaiah (Isaiah 7:14)), and that the things which seem to be so far asunder, are knit together in the person of our Lord Jesus Christ: let us conclude thereupon, that there is nothing but mysteries and secrets in all the grace which we receive of our God, and specially in our incorporating or grafting into our Lord Jesus Christ, who having taken our nature upon him, and clothed himself with our flesh, will have us to be grafted into him as into our root, to be quickened by his spirit, and to be partakers of his life, so as he has nothing peculiar to himself alone, but will have all to be common to us. Will we then receive our Lord Jesus Christ with all the benefits which he brings us, and will we by his means overcome all the temptations that can cross us? We must taste thoroughly of the things that the holy Scripture tells us and sets before us, and give such reverent credit to them, by acknowledging that God works in us by our Lord Jesus Christ, as the same may content us, and make us to forsake all our own natural understanding.

Now let us fall down before the majesty of our good God, with acknowledgment of our sins, praying him to vouchsafe to pardon us in such wise, as we may be rid of them, and he so govern us by his holy spirit, as we may endeavor to live according to his holy will, and reform our whole life according to his holy commandments, and he bear with all our infirmities, until he has wholly reformed us, to bring us to the perfection which we labor as now to attain. And so let us all say, Almighty God, etc.