On Board the Minerva

Sunday, January 18. Continued on board these two days to settle our ship affairs, and dispatch some other business. Was but weak in body. The winds being contrary, many friends came from Charlestown, and we spent the afternoon very comfortably together. I preached, and the Lord was with me. Towards the evening our friends left us — not without hopes of seeing each other hereafter in the land of everlasting rest, if not on this side of eternity. Blessed be God, that there is such a rest remaining for his people!

Sailed over Charlestown Bar, January 24, and arrived at Falmouth on the 11th of March. The Lord was pleased to give us a favorable passage. About three days after we set sail, we had a violent storm, which continued about four hours. During the rest of the passage, we had uncommonly pleasant weather and fair winds, till we came very near upon soundings. Afterwards, the blessed God was pleased to detain us near a fortnight. But the weather was pleasant, and through the bounty of our dear Charlestown friends, we had all things richly to enjoy. In the beginning of the voyage, my body was weak, and my soul somewhat low. But afterwards God was pleased to strengthen me both in body and soul. These words came one day with great power upon my heart: Arise, Go into Nineveh, the great city, and preach to it the preaching that I bid you. At another time, the Lord spoke to me by these words: Take the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, for our vines have tender grapes. This part of Joseph's blessing was one night brought home to me with a sweet power: The archers have sorely grieved him, and shot at him, and hated him; but his [reconstructed: bow] abode in strength, and the arms of his hands were made strong, by the hands of the mighty God of Jacob. And, at another time, when my soul was dejected at a sense of my own weaknesses, and the number and greatness of my impending [illegible], the Lord raised and comforted me with this promise: Fear you not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, indeed, I will help you, indeed, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. The books of Genesis and Exodus, which I expounded in course, morning and evening, were much blessed to my spiritual comfort. And the Lord has been pleased to give me freedom to write down some of my extempore discourses, which I hope he will bless for his own name's sake. In short, this voyage has been a profitable voyage to my soul, because of my having had many sweet opportunities for reading, meditation and prayer. I cannot but adore the providence of God in favoring me with such blessed retirements as I have frequently enjoyed on the great waters. I dared not expect to meet with such success as he has been pleased to give me abroad; and I doubt not but I shall yet see greater things there as well as at home. I never had such a variety of trials and changes of life lying before me as at this time. But I throw myself into the hands of the blessed Jesus, and shall conclude this further account of God's dealing with me, with a hymn composed by my dear and honored friend Mr. Wesley.

Ah! my dear Master! Can it be That I should lose by serving you? In seeking souls should lose my own, And others save, myself undone.

Yet I am lost (should you depart) Betrayed by this deceitful heart, Destroyed, if you my labor bless, And ruined by my own success.

Hide me! If you refuse to hide, I fall a sacrifice to pride; I cannot shun the fowler's snare, The fiery test I cannot bear.

Helpless, to you for aid I cry, Unable to resist, or fly; I must not, Lord, the task decline, For all I have, and am is yours.

And well you know, I did not seek, Uncalled of God, for God to speak, The dreadful charge I sought to flee, "Send whom you will, but send not me."

Long did my coward flesh delay, And still I tremble to obey, Your will be done, I faintly cry, But rather — suffer me to die.

Ah! rescue me from earth and sin, Fightings without, and fears within, More, more than hell myself I dread, Ah! cover my defenseless head!

Surely you will — you cannot send, And not my helpless soul defend, Call me to stand in danger's hour, And not support me with your power.

Lord — I believe the promise true, Behold, I always am with you; Always, if you with me remain, Hell, earth, and sin shall rage in vain.

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